Mum sets up new family support group

Dec 15 2011 by Marjorie Kerr, West Lothian Courier

A WEST Lothian mum is offering help and support to county families who have suffered the loss of a baby.

Nicola Welsh (37) of Threemiletown, lost her own baby, Theo, in 2009 when he was only three-weeks-old, due to a rare medical condition.

But she and her husband Gary found it difficult to get the support they needed to come to terms with their loss.

And now she has set up a group with charity SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death), who help families who have lost a baby, to hold regular support meetings.

Nicola explained: “After we lost Theo, I really struggled to find support.

“I’m a teacher so I had always thought I was quite confident, but I found that my whole world had fallen apart and I found it very difficult to ask for help.

“Health visitors are not trained in bereavement and the danger is that it becomes like a snowball effect where your bereavement is compounded by feelings of loneliness and isolation.

“I found it incredibly difficult to pick up the phone and ask for help and would have been so thankful for some offer of help from people who might understand.”

The new support group will first meet on Monday, January 16 at Bankton House Hotel in Livingston.

Thereafter the group will meet on the second Monday of every month at the hotel.

Nicola said: “I had looked into starting a group by myself but went to a SANDS meeting for advice.

“They said they were looking for someone to set up a new group in West Lothian, so it seemed like the ideal way to set something up.

“The group is for all family members of all ages and it doesn’t matter when they experienced their loss.

“We meet and talk about how we feel and share our experiences.

“There is also a suggestion box where people can post topics they would like to talk about at the meetings.

“Unfortunately it’s only other people who have been in the awful position of losing a child who can fully understand how it feels.

“Sadly this is something that affects more families than we probably ever want to know and it's still a bit of a taboo subject which needs to be broken.”

Nicola, who has two other sons Lucas (4) and 10-month-old Oscar, is also working with St John’s Hospital to set up a bereavement working party.

She will meet with them quarterly to feedback experiences from parents and also offer support to them.

And she also plans to set up a system where parents can leave their details which can be forwarded to SANDS Lothians so that support can be provided to them.

Nicola is also appealing for West Lothian businesses to offer any financial help or support to help SANDS provide the help needed in the county.

“I am also seeking funding to help get me started,” she said.

“So far I have been sponsored by a couple of local businesses but would appreciate any help as I’m keen to make sure that all the help possible is available for the group in West Lothian.”

For more information on the group, visit SANDS Facebook page, call the charity on 0131 622 6263 or e-mail dorothy@sands-lothians.org.uk